Who knew?

(An observation on the Real people).

I'm going on a journey OMG
to a land of make believe -celebrity,
where tits are taut as tightropes
and bums rebound pound coins,
where pubic hair's a no-no, and
they Photoshop their loins,
where lips curve like bananas
and are painted vampire red,
so they leave a vivid tidemark
when the boys are getting head,
yes I'm going on a journey OMG.


Yes I'm going on this journey LOL
and I know that you're all feeling Well Jell,
but to be famous just like me
you must trend stupidity,
pout at cameras with your lip
right hand glued against your hip,
Iphone welded to your hand
Facebook about your gastric band,
get pissed without compunction
or pop a wardrobe malfunction
yes I'm going on this journey LOL.


I’m going on this journey FYI
and I have admit to feeling real sky-high,
I turned down celeb Big Brother
because they also asked my mother,
so I’m off to jungle capers
I’ve tweeted all the papers,
I’m cool with rats and ants
I’ve had worse inside my pants,
and my tits will get an airing
knowing you lot will be staring,
yes I’m going on this journey FYI.


I’ve been away on this long journey WTF
and met someone who’s now my BFF,
she’s famous for doing stuff
where she shows her bit of fluff,
and her idea of working, is
with her arsecheeks, it's called twerking,
I’m really pretty pissed, about
this craze I seem to’have missed
and now feel quite alone
back to being quite unknown
shit I shouldn’t have done that journey WTF



© Graham Sherwood 12/2014